Introspective

Where am I?

Its a little too hard to differentiate

Either I’m still with this 80 year old lady selling herbs by the roadside

Or I’ve travelled on another long road trip with my mind

“Statelessness”

…..that’s the word

At least there’s a word for my condition……Thanks to a friend of mine

Why the squeeze on my face?

If only you had an idea what this woman has mixed up in these herbs…

Like she put the whole universe together in one cup…

Plus that burning taste of alcohol…that must be the sun

So why won’t I frown…

As I deliberate myself to take in scum

To light my chest ablaze

To bring sadness to my tongue

My friend William says it’ll help for my back ache…

He says it also makes sex last long…

With what I have to go through to take this crap in…

My Man William had better not be wrong

*sips drink*

Damn!

never tasted anything so bitter!

Plus my lungs just lit up like my blood got mixed with hot water!

So I frown….

road constructions don’t make things any better

Dust everywhere

People cover their noses and skitter

“Sipping and staring” -Order of the evening

seems everyone but me and William have somewhere they’re going

And this Arabian kid won’t let me be….

Pulling the sleeve of my shirt….

asking me for money

*smiles*

Barking up the wrong tree

Even if she searched me with an x-ray machine….cant get a penny out of me

Its not you kid, its me…and the Fucked up economy!

Stupid country!

Can’t even get a job..

Went for an interview last week…

After nearly strangling myself with a tie I barely know how to knot…

I still didn’t get the spot

“We’re sorry, we just need someone with more experience in our type of work”

Yeah!

Whatever!

Suck my Cock!

And the other day I was talking to my uncle If he could hook me up with something…

Then he advised I went for my Masters…

“these days you need an MSc before you can start working”

Oh that’s a great idea uncle, how come that never occurred to me!

When I was a kid, all i heard was “education is the key”

That all you need is to study through highschool and get a Bachelor degree

now what you’re telling me is I need an “MSc”

And maybe after that, you’d say I need a “PhD”

Fuck Off!

What I need is a Jay Ho Bee!!!

Grew up all my life trying to find who I am

Then the grown ups would say…

“Don’t worry kid, all you gotta do is study hard in college…when you graduate, you’d be a man”

Pfft!

Nigga got out now and still don’t know where he stands

Don’t know where he’s going…don’t even got a plan

You ask me what I learnt in college?

I’d tell you if I can…

But how numbers combine to make computers, I still don’t understand!

Put me next to a shoemaker and ask me who’s better

I hold a college degree and can write a formal letter

He can add sums of money, but can’t add up numbers

But he can make leather hold rubber to my feet and make my legs look better

Mmn….

Now won’t that refine my dress sense?

And me…..

Tah!

All I can make is a sentence!

Stalemates!

Whoever turns out richest is who’s better!

Funny though…

While I was in college busting my butt for grades

Some of my friends was scheming on ways to get Paid

You know That money making scheme that dudes do these days….

You stay up all night, read your ass out…

Hustle to get A’s

Then your numbskull hommie drives pass you the next morning in a Mercedes….

*sigh*

Makes your efforts feel like a waste

That shit is Depressing….

Pushes ones mind to the edge

They say “No knowledge is wasted”

But sadly time is wasted acquiring the wrong knowledge

*sips drink*

Damn!

This shit tastes awful…

Its like I’m drinking from the gutter!

What did this old lady put in this shit?!!!

And William’s downing it like it’s orange soda

*!!!*

Y’all are a crazy….

To think that this shit cost a hundred Naira

Yeah yeah “it’ll work for my back ache”, whatever!

Would the shit work any less if you add a little sugar?!!

*sigh*

Just a few more sips…it’ll all be over

And meanwhile, some guy just parked his whip right in front of me….

Looking all brand new….

Looking Like the car of my dreams…

And a girl I used to bang is riding shotgun

*sigh*

You gotta be kidding me!

“Tolu”, is it?

I can’t recall her name

But her ass was so mean, friends of mine fucked around and named it “Bane”

*smiles*

I guess not much’s changed….

She’s dressed a little differently

But The ass looks the same

Plus now she’s riding around town with some guy in a range

go figure

Guess she finally got to her “bus stop”

I know what she’s thinking….

She probably looking at me like my life’s all messed up….

Dressed all raggedy…

drinking crap from a cup

While she on the other hand done fucked her way to the top

She looked my way just now, but she probably won’t say hi

If you ask her what happened to us, she’d say I dumped her….made her cry

*smiles*

Go ahead….

Tell your side of the story

Easy for you to blab cos you didn’t know the other the guy you was fucking was my hommie

And its funny how people be crying that they man/woman cheated….

You ain’t crying cos he cheated….

You crying cos he beat you to it

Cos you never cheated don’t mean you was faithful….

It just means you were yet to do it

So we’re in the same level….

nobody’s above….

The Adele that cried “Rolling in the deep”…

Is the same girl that said “I’m sorry First Love”

That’s why I try to stay indifferent….

let non of it phase me…

These girls I be messing around with…
I know they don’t love me

Yeah you fuck me and three other guys…
That shit don’t bug me!

So long as we can leave everything behind the door….

You can fuck Tom, fuck Dick and fuck Harry

shiii

That’s the least of my headache….

With what runs in my head these days…

My mind be breaking speed limit

Think about this, think about that

Think about my thoughts and what I’m thinking in it

Damn!

How terrible is that

Well, thinking is different from worry…

So maybe it isn’t so bad

Alota shit are a puzzle that I try to figure out

But why am I the only one bothered…

Everyone else seem ignorant

I guess right now every lady is too busy struggling to find who’s going to make her a wife

And every guy’s still trying to figure out how he’s going to make it in life

While me on the other hand I’m puzzling on this thing called “Life”

Think so much sometimes I hope my brain don’t bust a blood pipe!

But then I’m still dumb!

I’ve seen people with far more wisdom

Sometimes I make the dumbest mistakes….no smart choices to choose from

I guess its easy to pass sound judgements

But hard to make wise decisions

I’d tell you “they’re all the same! Just fuck her, but don’t wife her”

But when I wind up in the same shoes, its either something about her eyes…

…or something else I like about her

Then I get all emotional…

And I kiss her forehead

And then I end up writing ’em shit I usually post on here!

Like those eyes of a bird

Like that freckled asian

But I’d still let it slip away….

I’m not ready to be that man

Cos Some niggas have sex just one time…

And boom!

101 dalmatians!

And they’re paying for diapers

And they’re paying child’s tuition.

As broke as I am right now…

feeding myself is feeding a nation!

So if you ask me…

I wouldn’t wanna get myself into such situation!

Easy to pass sound judgements….

Hard to make wise decsions

*yuck*

My cup is finally empty….

Thank you old woman….. Although it feels like you’re the one who should thank me

And now William’s trying to call a bike….

I told him “call a cab for me”….

Not with the crash I had last week…

The shit was pretty ugly

Had me “Suspended in air”…..

The outcome was really rough

And though With the road constructions out here…
getting a cab might be tough….

But if Its a bike i have to take…

Then I’m afraid I’d rather walk…

Well…

what do you know….

Here comes a pickup truck

*enters truck*

*leaves*

-Teddy

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17 thoughts on “Introspective

  1. Lovli piece broda! But U kinda leanin towards writin a rap song now prolly all em j cole u’ve been listenin to.I can almost hear him in it.

  2. And I love dat “easy to pass sound judgements hard to make wise decisions” line did u get dat from somewhere or datz u?itz brilliant

  3. I usually tink lng stuffs r crap or shld I say I was made to believe so. this actually provd wrng!! A nyc piece really …. n may I say “I see u as an epitome of grtness”

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